I originally wrote this article for the Penn Epistle, a Christian journal at the University of Pennsylvania. I have been so inspired by my peers’ creativity, talent, and passion for Christ. I encourage you to check out their work!

Last summer, I took the popular Love Languages quiz, which assesses how you best give and receive love. Out of the five love languages—acts of service, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts—quality time was my top result. I shared this experience with a close friend, who I encouraged to take the quiz herself. As we were discussing the results and exploring how we saw them manifested in our relationships, I was inspired to reflect on my love language’s role in my relationship with God, the most important relationship of all.

Have I been spending quality time with God? 

I realized that I wasn’t always making the most of the little time I spent with Him. I knew that an important part of quality time with anyone is eliminating distractions. I questioned whether I was really giving God my undivided attention in prayer and Bible study. Instead of considering the time I spent with Him as a privilege, I subconsciously treated it as a mere requirement. I was prioritizing quantity over quality. As long as I read my Bible that day, regardless of whether I was able to realize its deeper application to my life, I had done my duty. These times were rushed rather than cherished. My mind was crowded by my emotions and to-do list. No wonder I struggled to hear His voice.

In realizing just how much quality time meant to me, I thought about the disappointment I felt when my friends and family would seem distracted in our conversations. These were missed opportunities for more authentic connections. I had been treating God the same way, not adequately considering the impact on our relationship. Revelation 3:20 (NIV) is a helpful illustration of God’s heart for intentional conversations with us: “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” The act of sharing a meal with Jesus reflects God’s desire to be invited into our daily lives. He is not just our Father—He’s also our Friend. Going forward, I want to be more intentional about treating Him like one. 

Even though God already knows everything that’s going on in my life, seeking Him in prayer is crucial. James 5:13 says, “Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.” Prayer is more than a way to express our desires to Him. Just as we tend to grow more connected to the people we interact with the most, consistent communication with God in all circumstances deepens the intimacy of our relationship with Him. Approaching my quiet time more intentionally has been particularly rewarding. I have found that journaling at the beginning helps me reorient my mind towards Him and address my distractions beforehand. I express gratitude and lay my present concerns and feelings at His feet. Verbalizing them upfront prevents them from becoming intrusive and distracting thoughts later on. This allows me to be fully present and more understanding of what God wants me to take away.

It’s important to remember that our relationship with God is not one-sided. Though God pursues us, we must reciprocate by continually growing our love for Him and getting to know Him. James 4:8 talks about the beauty of this friendship, saying, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” ‭‭ After we first receive Christ, continuing to connect with Jesus is instrumental in our sanctification. Similarly to how you become more like the people you surround yourself with, you reflect more of Christ as you spend more time with Him and experience His character. 

Our Savior shouldn’t be competing for our attention. Our Bible tells us that our God is a jealous God (Deuteronomy 6:14-15). We are called to give our relationship with Him priority over everything and everyone else in our life. Consider Jesus’ strong words in Matthew 10:37 (NIV):  “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” He isn’t honored when we allow other things (even good things) to take center stage. Idolatry steals our time and energy, ultimately distancing our hearts from God and making us more comfortable in our sin. 

Going into the New Year, I was convicted to surrender to Him the idols that I had struggled with in 2023. Even now, I must constantly remind myself of the importance of putting Him first. An important step was cutting out music that infiltrated my heart and mind with values contrary to God’s Word. I created more Christian playlists, which helped me connect with Christ and appreciate His creativity throughout the day.

I encourage you to think about what distractions may be hindering you from getting deeper in your relationship with Him. Consider opening up to a pastor, mentor, or friend for support and accountability. Leaning on our community of believers is another way we experience His presence in our lives. God is willing to give us wisdom in everything we do if we believe (James 1:5); prioritizing and deepening our time with Him is no exception. 

I’m caught up in Your presence

I just want to sit here at Your feet

I’m caught up in this holy moment

I never wanna leave.

—“Nothing Else” by Cody Carnes